We take our kids to see Santa every year. We started the tradition when Son was just weeks old. Each year, the pictures change to reflect the ages and stages of our kids.
The gift requests change too.
When Santa inquires, “What would you like for Christmas this year?” I hold my breath, never knowing what will come out of their mouths.
A couple of years ago, Son responded, “I don’t need any toys this year. I can make my own. I can make the doll house my sister wants, too.” He then rattled off a list of items he needed: cardboard box, construction paper, tape, glue, scissors, etc. We were nervous that Son might be mad on Christmas morning when he saw that Santa brought Daughter a pre-fabricated doll house rather than delegate to a preschool architect.
All was well, though Son noted the house lacked a swimming pool and was quick to solve the problem with blue construction paper.
Last year, Daughter responded to Santa’s inquiry with a request for a tiger and an eye-ball. When Santa asked her to repeat herself (probably hoping he misunderstood and wasn’t holding a future serial killer on his lap), she clarified with crystal-clear diction: I want an eyeball, a real human eyeball.
We blame PBS.
The lack of commercials on PBS leaves a Toys ‘R Us size void in our children’s Christmas lists. Without commercials telling them they can’t live without Ninjago or Polly Pockets, they are left to search their imaginations for things that can be delivered by sled.
The results can be less than traditional.
Son requested – and received – a pumpkin pie from Santa last year.
He took the edible theme even further this year. Here is his gift list:
For those not fluent in first grade drawing, this translates to: pie; pencils; trophy; pet bird; tree ornament; Santa hat, Wild Kratt suit; cheeseburger; free popcorn; cars; globe ornament; hot air balloon; jaguar book; computer; pet snake; pet hamster; stuff for inventing; socks; giant teddy bear; race car; peanut butter and jelly sandwich; and a lettuce, cheese and ham sandwich.
As Son sat on Santa’s lap this year reading over each item on his list, Santa’s brow began to furrow.
Santa asked, “Were you hungry when you wrote this list?”
I heard, “Do your parents feed you?”
If you are reading this, please rest assured that there is no need to call CPS.
We just need cable.