The Mommy Benefits Package Sucks

SNOT: nasal mucus

Mommy needs a sick day

That her contract doesn’t provide

I’m usually eager to see you

But today I want to hide.

I hear the pitter patter of your feet

You’re awake and coming near

From 1 to 10, how bad would it be

If I pretended I wasn’t here?

What I want more than anything

Is to stay under my covers

Perhaps you could canvass the neighborhood

Looking for a temporary mother.

No, that won’t work – they’ll call the cops.

So I gear up for what’s ahead

Breakfast, clothes and brushing teeth

Just as soon as I’m out of bed.

There is no rest for the weary

It’s time to face the day

My glands are ten times normal size

Can I submit for hazard pay?

No. There’s no extra compensation

For mothers with the flu

We still cook and clean and carpool

Because that’s what mothers do.

But, someday when I’m old and gray

The tables will be turned

I’ll be living in your basement

Collecting what I’ve earned.

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11 thoughts on “The Mommy Benefits Package Sucks

  1. I usually time my bouts with influenza for the weekends. That way, hubby can take the kids. (Wouldn’t life be grand were that the truth!) Actually, I got the flu two weeks ago on a Saturday, and honestly it was the best flu since having children–I stayed in bed ALL DAY like a normal human being while husband catered to my whims and took care of the kids. I wish we mamas always had our villages so nearby.

    1. I agree. It’s funny how being a mom turns being sick on the weekend into a best case scenario. Husband was super helpful this weekend and allowed me to rest while he managed birthday celebrations and pumpkin patch excursions.

  2. Hope you’re feeling better! BTW, did you compose this lovely poem WHILE you had the flu?? If so, you just earned SUPERMOMMA status!!!!

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