My Naughty vs. Nice Ratio

NAUGHTY: guilty of disobedience or misbehavior; lacking in taste or propriety

NICE: pleasing; agreeable; socially acceptable; virtuous; polite; kind

Dear Santa,

I’m a little unclear about your gifting criteria.  I know that you consider who is naughty and who is nice, but I’m unsure about the ratio required to tip the scales and end up on the nice list. 

As I look back on my year, I remember several Naughty Mommy moments:

I ignored all the grocery cart warnings about proper child placement.

I prioritized my parental bribery standards over a contribution to a good cause

I laughed when Daughter told me about her fear of dying.

I eavesdropped on Son’s private conversations.     

I stole from my neighbors.

I forgot to feed my children.

But, I did have a couple Nice Mommy moments:

I let the kids help decorate the Christmas tree this year and said complimentary things about the random chunks of wool, curling ribbons, paper chains, and slowly dehydrating strings of cranberries they have added in recent weeks. 

AND, I sacrificed my physical wellbeing to provide the pleasure of a piñata to children

That’s a ratio of 2 nice moments for every 6 naughty moments.  Is it enough to be 25% nice and 75% naughty?  I’m assuming no.  

I propose the following….

In light of my many naughty/nice ratio, you should send me a large lump of clean coal and banish me to a quiet place where I must sit all alone.  In silence. By a coal-fueled fire.  Alone and in silence by a fire.  Yes, that seems like an appropriate punishment for my naughty ways. 

Do we have a deal?

 

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