A Wide Wake

WAKE: the track left by a moving body in a fluid 

Today, I am mourning the imminent loss of my friend and teammate.

I know that I’m not the judge of these things, but it feels unfair.  She is one of the good ones.  She is too young.  She has too much left to give.  She is a string in the fabric of too many lives.  And, she has already endured more than her fair share of hardship.  She saw her husband through his battle with cancer, lost her twin boys in pre-term labor and then aggressively fought her own cancer battle while mothering two young girls.

This is too much.  I am reduced to the objections of a child.  I want to stomp my feet and howl.  It’s not fair!

Seeking comfort from the grieving, I looked through the messages posted by her friends and family.  I was touched by the many tributes to this amazing woman.  Friends from all seasons of her life have testified to her character and described her impact.

I went to bed with the word “wake” in my mind.  I was pondering the way in which the internet facilitates what feels like a modern day wake.  But, I woke with a different interpretation.  I think what I’m seeing is more like the wake from a ship.

Sometimes on a wide horizon without clear landmarks, it’s difficult to tell if a ship is moving.  The wake is the evidence.  As my friend moved through this life, she moved with purpose and left a wake of people she touched in a meaningful way.  That is the evidence of a life well lived.

I stand by my objection: It isn’t fair.  But, it’s happening.

I cry as one of the ripples in her wide wake, mourning the loss of her power and force in life’s ocean.  But, I also smile a bit as I flip through images of our time together.  To me, she will remain the vibrant girl perched on the hood of a sports car.  I am glad she journeyed here.  I am better for it.

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18 thoughts on “A Wide Wake

  1. I feel your grief right in the middle of my chest. And I TOTALLY get the feeling of “It’s not fair!” Stomp away girlfren….

  2. Kris, thank you for putting all of my tears and sorrows into beautiful words. You write so much better than I do, and I love what you said.

  3. I heard the disorder in the office and was praying it wasnt so. I dont think Ive ever seen a person endure so much yet remain as strong and positive as you. R.I.Paradise Jodi Drews

  4. I never know what to say to this kind of post, except that I’m sad for you. You’ve done a wonderful thing by telling the world about your friend and how much she meant to (and to others).

  5. I am so sorry for your loss. Your use of a ‘wake’ is apt — it throws us off-course, upsets the boat. What’s really important is that through this beautiful memorial, you’ve left permanent evidence of that wake in the ocean.

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