PRACTICAL: capable of being put to use or account; useful
I need to buy new underwear. That on its own isn’t necessarily noteworthy. Nor is it an obvious starting point for a post on a motherhood blog. However, my need for underwear fell squarely into the “things that are different now that I’m a mom” category when I noted my need on my shopping list. My Costco shopping list.
Gretchen Wilson sings:
Victoria’s Secret, well their stuff’s real nice
But I can buy the same damn thing on a Wal-Mart shelf half price
And still look sexy, just as sexy as those models on TV
I don’t need no designer tag to make my man want me
I’m not a redneck woman.
But, I am a mother.
And as a mother I find it incredibly convenient that I can buy a giant bag of coffee beans, a box of pull-ups, grab-and-go snacks, toilet paper, underwear and enough paprika to pass on to my grandchildren all in one place.
Once upon a time Victoria and I shared a few secrets. But, these days I usually have two children in tow. There is no part of lingerie shopping that qualifies as child-friendly.
Going shopping without children sounds good in theory…until I review my list of things I want to do next time I have an hour to myself. Sorting through a rainbow of lace while surrounded by posters of women who make Barbie look flat-chested and Suzanne Somers’ thighs look flabby isn’t even on that list.
So, I will buy my underwear in a large warehouse while my children consume nibbles of random foods around each bend. When my task is complete, I will give my children a $1.50 bribe hotdog for their trouble.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.