Almost

ALMOST: very nearly but not exactly or entirely

The thing I miss most about my life before children is completion.  My mommy world is full of partially complete tasks – either things that will never be done or things that once done will need to be redone. 

My house is clean…almost.  It was actually clean this morning, but then life happened.  Now, there are breakfast crumbs in the dining room and a parade of plastic animals marching through the living room.

The laundry is done…nearly.   There is still a basket full of singleton socks waiting for a mate.  Oh, wait.  I take it back.  The hampers are somehow full again despite the fact that the final load from the last round of laundry is just now coming out of the dryer. 

The beds are made…make that “were.”  I see that they are disheveled again from the latest round of hide-and-seek. 

Part of the problem is the nature of parenting.  It’s a big job and many tasks are ongoing:

Love my children

Model how to love and care for others

Teach them right from wrong

Nurture their interests and abilities…

None of those things are items I can check off a list.  There is not a project management spreadsheet or diagram that can walk me through parenting and make sure complete all deliverables and meet all my deadlines.

Then, there are the tasks that are done…briefly. 

Feed the children.  They are hungry two hours later.

Wash the children.  They are dirty the next day.

Emotionally, I live a full life.  It is complete. There is nothing “almost” about my blessings.  But, logistically speaking I am adrift in an ocean of almost. 

I think this is why I sometimes come up with crazy tasks for my to-do list.  Tasks like “vacuum silverware drawer.”  Yes the crumbs are gross (seriously, where do they come from?), but I think my real motivation is to have something complete.  At least one daily task that I can say is DONE.  It may not be an essential task, but it’s a complete task.

Speaking of crazy self-imposed tasks, I’ve decided to participate in the April A-Z challenge.  I missed the actual start (April 1st) but I almost made it – which is both an “A” word and fairly typical for my life.  I am writing with a slight delay.  Think of it as a stutter.  Eventually, if I ignore some of Sunday sabbaths established in the challenge I’ll catch up.  And, when I get to “Z,” I will have completed something!   It’s not something that will change the world…but it is something.

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5 thoughts on “Almost

  1. Something also complete….this post! I hear exactly what you are saying and I struggle with the “almost” everyday. I try to remain mindful but never feel finished. You summed parenting up – Almost! Thanks for sharing! I am glad I am not alone in my frustration but am equally blessed! Now off to check out my silverware drawer…

  2. I feel the exact same way – it is as if I almost catch up and then, bam, back two steps. I have gotten to the point where I am almost OK with being almost there. 😉 Such a true post, thank you.

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